Who d'you wanna find out about, then? Click the pictures and link to our profiles! We are the Flying Pigs - we rule!
- I know everyone thinks we're really scary, but that's just Wednesday. He has an addiction to the word 'fuck' and is very
pissed off with life at the moment. He's generally just a very violent, murderous and pissed off person, but things can get
worse and have done (damn!). He got put back a year in school to retake his GCSEs after he failed them all last time,
you see (those which he turned up to, anyway). He hates his sister (see his pic.) because she's a genius, which can't
help. He also hates his sister's cat, but we won't go into that. If you want to hear more, I suggest you e-mail Wednesday
(pig4) and ask him to rant at you (fool!). So, I gather you'll find Wednesday scary? But we're not all Wednesday.
"Death comes for most people. I get the rest."
Ronney and I'm the founder of the Flying Pigs, of course. As a gang, I arrange all our money-making schemes and then
our money-spending ones too. My word is law. I'm a bit of a genius too; I've got wide interests and am a great person to get
along with. History's my main thing, which just sounds like a crappy school thing, but goes further than that. I'm applying
for university and an archaeological discovery group to aid in my degree. I also have a talent for written history, so don't
be surprised if you see my name in print sometime!
"I know why you haven't found success. It's because she's saving herself for me."
is the one with the problems, who thinks he's a meercat (don't ask me, but why the hell did he pick that picture?). He's a
depressive, and if you ever need an agony aunt, there's nobody better. He lives for misery and can advise you upon many
great methods of suicide, some even personally approved, although he has never been 100% successful yet in these schemes.
"Life sucks. Get used to it.”
Gorwl's mate, and he's about as sad as Gorwl is, though much more gullible (hee hee hee) and less miserable. Robby's the sort
of guy who doesn't really know what he's doing with himself and will probably never find out. He's good at chess though -
almost as good as I am, and I'm the best at everything, always will be - which is his life.
"The capybara is the largest variety of rodent."
is our hippie and the oldest member of our gang. Not saying anything particular, but he can get hold of some pretty hot substances
for you, if you so-desire. This is probably why he never shows a picture of himself (I don't think he knows that Jabbo drew
him on his book picture). He has excellent contacts all over the world. Apart from being almost as crazy as Jabbo, Ninety-Ribbons
(false name, even we don't know what his real one is) lives in a garage and drives a £50.00 car.
Ninety-Ribbons might've said (but didn't):
"The cheaper something is the shittier it is. Life's free."
is more or less alright in the head, although he seems to be an unlucky talisman, running about and giving other people bad
luck. None of us are quite sure how he does this, but he does seem to have an uncanny supernaturalism about him. He's actually
Estonian, well, his parents are. Jinx was brought up in England, so he isn't really very Estonian, but that's what he is.
Jinx says a lot:
"I'll jinx you what I will. Just wait for me; prince of the bad-luck realms that make you shy."
in the verb to shy, not as in the state of shyness.
and Jinx are best friends too (yes, I know - how cheesy that we seem to be made up of a little gang of best friendies) and
they're practically joined at the hip. Tippo's real name is Neal, but we call him Tippo because he comes from Tipperary. He
moved here when he was about seven, so he still has a bit of an Irish accent. He drinks a lot too, which is what the Irish
are famous for, though the rest of us are not too sure that this is such a good idea (imagine us all wearing our frowns of
dignified disapproval). The other Irish trait is supposed to be red hair, but Tippo's is blonde. Actually, he's the only one
of us without brown hair.
most frequently used phrase:
"Where's the whisky?"
my chum, though we're hardly inseparable. He's quite crazy too, and a bit of a flirt. All the girls like him, which is probably
something to do with why he can never get enough of him. He is always succeeded by a trail of admirers and he's always going
out with too many of them at once (yes, I know, shock horror). He has an odd fondness for people's roofs and he's great artist,
which is his main interest. He's not called Jabbo, of course, that's just some random nickname that stemmed somehow from Jonathon.
Also, Jabbo can't swim!
"Yo. I'm Jabbo!"
all (except Ninety-Ribbons) go to Checkerbrook High in Sheffield, where currently Jabbo and I are doing our A levels and Wednesday,
Gorwl and Robby are doing their GCSEs. The other two are just minor squirts.
you have any complaints (don't you dare even think about it!) or queries, please e-mail me at email@example.com, or get in touch with us separately.
Ronney Dulmorris, pig1